5th Letter

Dear D

Why did you only write now?
Do you like confusing me so much?
I gave you up. I did. I didn't even dream of you last night. And here I am reading your message. You shouldn't have written.
The one thing I didn't want to hear from you was an apology. Especially an apology for not being able to come to me.

From now on, I will slowly distance myself from you. I won't check my mailbox five times a day to see if you've written. Nor will I think of you as much as possible anymore. Slowly, slowly, I'll make you fade away from my heart, and you will only remain as a memory.
I know it's an impossible thing for me to do, but nevertheless it would be better that way. But you must never know how much I sometimes loathe you for being who you are. And you must never know how much I hate myself afterward for thinking such things.

One day I'll tell you how much I love you, straight in the face, without hiding anymore.
Just wait and see.

/P.